GOOP vs TRGTALP - MikeW Takes on Gwyneth!

(Source - jobrothers.com)

In September 2008 the world we live in changed forever.  No more would we worry or panic about our humdrum lives as a saviour, taking the form of an A-List Hollywood actress, was there to help solve and improve our once miserable existences.  Yes...I am talking about Gywneth Paltrow and her much derided weekly lifestyle newsletter GOOP (www.goop.com).  It isn't my intention to tear into Gwynnie's online baby; most of the Western press has already done that.  But, having being reminded of this website recently by my friends, I thought I would make a little comparison between the travel tips, Mrs Paltrow-Martin offers her readers and the ones that I offer mine.  I'll warn you now; so you are not shocked...they differ enormously.

One thing the reader of GOOP must understand (and something Gwyneth clear does not) is that we live in a completely orbit to this woman.  Gwyneth is a multi-millionairess Hollywood actress that is married to a multi-millionaire rock musician, and is accustomed to a certain way of living.  And, those women that do follow the tips of the online lifestyle guru?  Well, I'm not sure I'd like to share a lo-cal, soy infused chai latte with them and their likely demands for catalogue book perfection in all aspects of their life.

One key element of Gwyneth's site is its focus on travel and this is where our paths cross.  So, it's GOOP vs TRGTALP...Game. On!

Round 1 - Flights

In a recent entry, Gwyneth posted the following picture of herself with the caption, "Here is a bedraggled working mother about to take an 11-hour flight..."

(Source - goop.com)

Oh, please!  Gwyneth has clearly no idea how lucky she is to be sitting in, what is probably, a first class seat ready to be pampered within an inch of her life for 11 hours.  She also talks about preferences for particular planes and airlines.  If I was her, I would be thankful she is not in economy class and that Ryanair do not fly the London Heathrow to LAX route.  TRGTALP's approach to flights is much simpler (mostly thanks to budget restrictions) = find the cheapest possible flight, wrap your knees round your ears and sit there until you are herded off the plane by your shouty stewardesses.

Round One goes to...GOOP - for sheer luxury!

Round Two - Packing

While Gwyneth prefers to use luggage that are worth more than my all my trips for the year. She does, however, profess to have (like TRGTALP) mastered the art of packing light; fitting much of her expensive designer wardrobe into a carry on bag, albeit a £2100 Lanvin case.  I also admire Gwyneth's advice on packing capsule wardrobes that are interchangeable for your trip; thus, saving on taking excessive amounts of clothes that don't match each other.  However, I certainly don't, for one minute, believe that Gwyneth washes her knickers in the hotel sink as is suggested on GOOP.  The TRGTALP approach?  Get a £25 holdall.  Fill it with underwear for each day you are staying, plus a spare pair.  Add your favourite t-shirts and shirts.  A couple of pairs of jeans.  Some Nivea miniatures bought at discount retail chain Home Bargains.  And you are packed!

Round Two goes to...TRGTALP - for good value practicality.

Round Three - The Journey and on the Plane

I can't do this section justice without simply quoting directly from the Goop website.  Here's Gwyneth's sage advice on journey comfort - "I always find it best to eat really light when flying. If leaving from London, I’ll usually stop at Itsu in Terminal 5 for some miso soup, as I've heard miso is said to counteract radiation. When I’m on the plane, I try to stick to the salads or lighter fare they serve while staying away from the heavier sauces, proteins and carbs. I also make sure to pack a piece of fresh fruit, which can be hard to come by on a long flight."  A full English breakfast and a pint at The Wetherspoons this is not!

Miso soup!  Miso soup to counteract radiation!  Flabbergasted to think that anyone even considers that.  As a side note, I wonder if Gwyneth gets the irony in the fact that it was in a central London branch of Itsu that the former Russian secret service officer, Alexander Litvinenko, was allegedly poisoned with radioactive material.

And, how does TRGTALP prepare for a flight, you ask?!  After wistfully hoping that some watchdog has taken hold of the airports by the scruff of their necks and told them to charge sensible prices for their food offerings, I usually end up at Boots to see if there are any discounted sandwiches.  Failing that, it is a big bottle of water, some almonds and walnuts (bought in a supermarket before my trip) and some fruit that keeps me sated in the air.

Round Three goes to...TRGTALP - for the love of all that is holy...no way on Earth is Gwyneth having that round with a mention of dishwater flavour miso soup!

Final Round - Round Four - In Flight Entertainment

Now, Gwyneth, often has access to a host of movies, her own iPad and every Coldplay album downloaded to it.  She recommends a number of interesting-sounding books and revels in the fact that she is not able to access the Internet to be bombarded by people slagging off the Goop website or her agent offering her a part in 'Iron Man 4'.  TRGTALP, on the other hand, takes a similar approach by listening to my ancient, neolithic era iPod Nano and a full immersion into my latest read.  Being a teacher, it is not rare, these days, for me to take some papers with me to mark on the plane.  After having read the in-flight magazine, checked out the stuff on the menu I don't want to pay that much for, I see it as a great way to maximise what is essentially 'dead' time.

Round Four goes to...GOOP - for having more choice!

There you are!  It's a tie!  Jokes aside.  Gwyneth and I are obviously different kinds of travellers with very different budgets, but what ties us together is a common desire to help you on your travels and ensure you get the most out of your journeys; whether you be heading to Los Angeles for that script read-through at Warner Bros or on that bargain Bratislava break with your friends.

Happy and safe travels!

The Freak Parade - Oddballs on the Road...

(Source - theatrefolk.com)



Let me tell you one truism about backpacking.  You can guarantee you are certain to meet some utter freaks on your journeys.  They are the hallmark of the budget travel experience and are bound to stick in your memory for longer than you'd hoped.  My advice?  Embrace these weirdos!  Enjoy their bizarre, off-the-wall company and savour their outlandish behaviour.  Not only will these people be fantastic for your self-esteem, they will provide you with a whole host of stories to carry with you on your journey to other like-minded people you meet and will serve as an entertaining aspect of your travels your family and friends will lap up on your return.

I could tell you about the old lady, travelling with her daughter in Bled, Slovenia; who thought it appropriate to wear the shortest nightwear going in a shared dorm room, as well as leave her false teeth in a small plastic tub on the shelf I shared with her.  Or the Belgian girl in Port Macquarie, with a rather skewed view of British eating habits, who asked my friend, if only English people ate English muffins.

Mushy was perhaps the weirdest, though.  Let me take you back to Airlie Beach, Australia - September, 2005.  A moment I remember vividly.  I was in Airlie Beach; a place that marks the jumping point for the Whitsunday Islands three day sailing trips.  On entering my hostel room, I was met by my fellow roomie, a young-ish, drink and drug addled guy who told me his name was 'Mushy'; so called thanks to his love of the hallucinogenic fungi!  I could hear the alarm bells ringing softly in my head, but thought nothing of it as he asked me about my travels so far and where I was heading to after Airlie Beach.  Mushy then went on to tell me about his life and how he had worked at a local hotel resort and was on his downtime and aiming to enjoy himself in Airlie Beach.  As I sorted out my stuff, Mushy piped up that he was a talented singer and had made the later rounds of the hit Australian show, 'Australian Idol'.  The alarm bells were ringing loudly now.  As I had already established the guy could barely speak let alone sing, I humoured him and said, "Really!  What did you sing?"  He told me he had wowed them with a performance of the Oasis hit 'Wonderwall'.  I had to see this.  I sat back on the bottom bunk and readied myself for this stellar performance.  Mushy kicked off his song, wailing the verses like a cat being strangled by an excitable pig and then come the chorus where he broke into some high energy dance moves that involved him spinning round a lot and touching the floor.  All the while, my fingernails are digging deep into the palm of my hand to stop myself from laughing.  He suddenly stopped, looked to me and gave me the 'what do you think' face, to which I replied, "You were robbed, Mushy!"  He kindly offered me some 'shrooms.  I politely declined, made an excuse and got the hell out of there.  I returned after an hour or so to find Mushy had, thankfully, taken his talents elsewhere and that an Aussie and Dutch man had turned up in the room.  We chatted for a bit and I then went out to meet some people I had met earlier on my trip up the Australian east coast.  The next morning I woke up with a start to hear the Aussie guy, from the bunk above the now departed Mushy, yelp, "Aw, shit!"  I got up to find him looking at his feet and back at the floor.  "F***ing *****!"  While everyone was out enjoying the nightlife in Airlie Beach, Mushy had clearly decided to have a night in to clip his toenails.  And, rather than clear them up like any normal person, he thought it best to leave the clippings on the floor where they fell...for everyone else to tread on!  Freak!

Maybe it was the place, but on returning to that very same hostel three days later, I was accosted by a young South Korean guy who leapt out of his bunk to photograph me.  So, so strange!  But, that's travel for you.  I urge you to expect the unexpected and, most of all, enjoy it!

Embrace Your Fellow Traveller...

 Noodles with my Travel Friends for the Day!

As you might expect, being on the road as a solo traveller can be a lonely affair.  It doesn't have to be and it is up to you to decide what you want from your trips.  Personally, I enjoy meeting people on my travels.  As I have mentioned before, I have been lucky enough to make (what I consider) some lifelong friends from my backpacking trips.  It is a great aspect of travel that enables you to get an insight into the life of someone else from another country but to also allow you to put your own life in context and, ultimately, better understand yourself and the role your country has to play in our global village.

Schmaltzy stuff aside and looking at this in a more practical way.  Making friends on the road means that you've got someone to watch your bag while you use the toilet.  You have someone to share the costs of accommodation, transport and food with.  You have some one to beat at cards, drink local moonshine and share stories with; as well as someone to revel in the peculiarities and extraordinary moments you are bound to encounter as you both travel from place to place.  Don't get me wrong, with a positive open minded approach you'll have an amazing time on your travels if you do it solo.  But, with a friend you've got someone with which to share those special moments as well as those, lets say, hairy times we all tend to encounter on our journeys.

I've made friends in the hostel, on the free tour and from a cafe that for a number of reasons have simply been companions for the day.  The random encounter I had on a boat in Bangkok with a lovely Japanese girl, led to her and an amusing French guy (whom I have no recollection of ever being introduced to) both joining me on my explorations of the many bead and plastic carrier bag shops of the China Town area of the city.  Bizarre, but great fun; especially when we broke bread (well noodles) together at one of Bangkok's famous street stalls!  Just one look at the 20p toothpaste squeezer I bought that day instantly brings back floods of memories and laughter from four years ago.

So, my message to you, is embrace the people you meet on your journeys.  Some may become firm friends, others friends for a day, but, all with provide you with a host of memories and experiences that will almost certainly make your travels much more enjoyable.

Hej Sverige! (AKA Storming Stockholm with Friends)

View from the City Hall (Source - TRGTALP)

I posted a few months back about my impending trip to the Swedish capital, Stockholm with my two friends (see 'Stockholm Syndrome').  I expressed what I knew were going to be completely unfounded fears about travelling with other people.  The three of us had a brilliant time exploring the historical Gamla Stan, trying to be hip and happening in hip and happening Södermalm, wandered the rarefied streets of the Östermalm, strolled the Djurgården and sampled lots of great places to eat across this fantastic Scandanavian city.  We took the free tour (as I always recommend), with our sweet, if a little hapless, guide who told us that, "Greta Garbo was founded in the PUB department store" and that there was nothing of historical importance on the Kungsgatan, but the gym which was the site of the first meeting of the Crown Princess, Victoria and her buff beau, Daniel.

Gustavus Adolphus would be proud! (Source - TRGTALP)

I would highly recommend a visit to this awesome city, but must warn you of two things:

• Number 1 - Prepare to hemorrhage your bank balance or take a few bars of gold with you...to pay for breakfast.  I had heard about the country's reputation for being pricey and, boy, the people who had warned me were not wrong.  Despite having paid more than double the price for almost everything you would in the UK, I (a tightwad Yorkshireman) still think that Sweden is worth the money.  The quality of the food and shopping, in most instances, make it worthwhile.  Getting round this, might involve self catering in your hostel accommodation for a night or two.  Or, taking advantage of the fixed price, set menus on offer at most restaurants and cafes at lunchtime to fill yourself up.
• Number 2 - The reputation holds fast...Swedes of both gender are absolutely gorgeous.  The women have legs that go on forever with luscious blonde locks and model-esque cheekbones that could cut granite.  The men are tall modern day Viking warriors, with luscious blond locks, thick beards and model-esque cheekbones that could cut granite.  Do not...I repeat...do not go to Stockholm if you have a low self esteem.  The Swedes won't remind you of this beauty disparity.  I don't think they even know that they are a supremely good looking nation, but one simple walk down most streets in the capital will render the individual to a lustful mush or speed-dialing a plastic surgeon.

Places I would recommend a visit to:

• Cafe Gildas Rum - Skånegatan 79 - Great cafe with the best brownie I have ever eaten!
• Cafe Saturnus - www.cafesaturnus.se
• Cafe Albert and Jack - www.albertjacks.se - The breakfast meal deal, service and surroundings at the Gamla Stan branch were impressive!
• AG Restaurant - A meat feast.  Dress up in your finest gladrags for this one! www.restaurangag.se/?lang=en
• Le Rouge - A great restaurant in the Gamla Stan - www.lerouge.se/en/
• Pelikan Bar in the Södermalm - www.pelikan.se
• The Saluhall in the Östermalm district - www.saluhallen.com
• Scandi design shopping in both Östermalm and Södermalm.
• A walk round the Djurgården.

So, that's Stockholm!  Until the next journey...hejdå!

Hostel Heaven and Hostel Hell

Having recently stayed in a hostel, I often forget how much I love...and hate them!  Sometimes I think that, for the single traveller, they are a necessary evil and, at the same time, a wonderful resource for fun and friendship.  Faced with snorers, plastic bag rustlers and the strange eating habits of the occasional traveller I am often pleased to return to my own room at home.  So, for the hostel first timer and the backpacking old timer here are a few things you can do to make your fellow roomies trip just as pleasant as yours...

(Source - Hostel Bookers - http://blog.hostelbookers.com/travel/the-10-hostel-commandments)

German Journeys (A Guest Post by Allana D)

After several posts from yours truly, I can only imagine that regular readers of TRGTALP are growing tired of hearing my thoughts on travel by now.  I therefore, had a brainwave.  I am lucky enough to have met and know so many people that are as passionate as me about travel that I thought I should hand over the reins to them so that they can offer you something fresh, a change from the norm and a different perspective on their travels and how they get the most from their journeys.  To kick us off, I have enlisted the help of Allana D, a wonderful Aussie I met in a hostel last October in Krakow.  I hope you enjoy reading about and are inspired, as much as I am, by her travels through Germany.

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Germany has been a favourite country of mine since I first travelled there in 2008.  From the first time, this beautiful country captivated me with its vast and interesting history and beautiful cities.  In March 2013, after having lived in Germany for 6 months, I organised and planned a 3 week solo trip in and around Germany to see more of the places I had been dreaming of since my first visit.

View of River Neckar and Heidelberg Old Town from Heidelberg Castle (source - Allana D)

I chose to travel around Germany using their fabulous (and sometimes, not so fabulous) train system, Deutsche Bahn (DB).  I figured out pretty quickly that the trains are extremely expensive when I started to ‘budget’ on how much my transport would cost me.  However, DB has a great ‘Savings Fare’ ticket – all you need to do is make an online account (it’s free!) and you can book all your tickets online using a credit card and the tickets are emailed to you.  Take into account that DB is notoriously known for their delays and last minute changes! If you can help it, try to book a direct train to any or all your destinations.

My first destination was Heidelberg and due to a delay and track change, I almost missed my 1^st connection as I was frantically looking for my next train…which happened to be only on the other side of the same platform.  One of the cities I visited was Munich (a given when planning a trip around Germany, I think J).  I had 5 nights there and it still wasn’t enough for me. It is such a great city to explore for history (both modern and ancient) as well as culture. I did a Sandemans New Munich free walking tour one morning and our guide told us an interesting fact: Germany is the 3^rd largest beer drinking nation in the world behind the Czech Republic and Ireland; however, if you were to only focus on Bavaria (the state and region in which Munich is located), it has the largest amount of beer drinkers in the world...astonishing!

One of the most memorable days on my trip was my day trip from Munich to see the Linderhof Palace and Neuschwanstein Castle, both built by King Ludwig II. It was a pre-booked and fully organised tour which, for me, took out the stress of organising every detail myself.  Another thing that made it a great day was to see the Bavarian Alps and cross them off my ‘To Do’ list.

 Neuschwanstein Castle (source - Allana D)

The Bavarian Alps (source - Allana D) 

If you are looking for somewhere different to go in Germany, rather than the main cities like Berlin and Munich, check out Bamberg.  Only an hour train ride from Nuremberg in Upper Bavaria, this UNESCO historic town is a great day trip.  After walking around for about an hour, I finally found the city centre.  My pathetic sense of direction clearly won that day! The River Regnitz runs through the town and the Cathedral and Castle sit on top of the hill which you can do tours in and around.

 Bamberg (source - Allana D)

Allana D with Bamberg in the background (source - Allana D)

Just a few tips which I could have used for my trip...

• Keep your city maps - Usually if you stay at hostels, their city maps are awesome! I can guarantee you will not remember every church name or building in your photos!
• Invest in ear plugs when bunking in a dormitory - They will be a Godsend! I cannot count how many sleepless nights I had due to people who snore like bears!
• Bring your own towel - All of the hostels I stayed in charged me for a towel! I could have saved a bit of money if I had brought my own. (Other places I have stayed in in Europe were free).
• Check out a city’s events before arrival - I was in Munich for the ‘Strong Beer Festival’ and also some major football games and didn’t even realise it!

First Class Travel and the Travel Proletariat

The luxury of first class travel (Source: images.smh.com.au)

As previous readers will have gathered, I am a budget traveller.  I aim to travel as cheaply as possible to make sure my money goes further so that I too can go further around the world on my many journeys here and there.  Of the several trips I have taken, one thing has bothered me.  I claim to be a victim of class prejudice in the air, a proletariat of the skies; forever to have my knees round my ears.  My angst?  I have never been upgraded!  I hear tales of friends who have been pushed up to business class from economy and from business to first without the slightest hint of effort.  Why not me?  What have I ever done to the ground staff?!

The closest I have come to an upgrade was during my travels round Australia and New Zealand, when I took a Qantas flight from Christchurch to Auckland.  I passed through the airport as normal, boarded the plane and took my seat.  I soon realised that the two seats next to me were not to be filled during what was a full flight.  Confused, I saw the air steward (the very same man at the check in desk) walk down the aisles from the front of the plane and stop at my row, where he proceeded to ask me if I was happy with my seat.  I replied with the affirmative and then the penny dropped.  I did not realise that when I was checking in, he was checking me out!  I had a great one hour flight and was even treated to extra food from my new friend, while I stretched my legs out, listened to Jack Johnson and took in the magnificent coastal views below me.  All this as the passengers around me muttered in puzzlement as to why I was given so much extra space on such a busy flight.

Of course, I am being utterly ridiculous.  As I said at the beginning, I am a budget traveller.  Long gone are the days when airlines simply upgrade you based on the availability of space in the other, more luxurious parts of the plane.  Nor do they upgrade their passengers on the basis of their attire alone.  Airlines tend to upgrade their big spenders and reward loyalty.  That is why if I am ever to find myself stretching out with a glass of champagne I am going to have to stick with a particular airline and rack up some serious points on their scheme.  Flying low cost carriers such as Ryanair and easyJet will never see me upgraded, simply because these carriers do not divide their plane into business and first class sections.  I have survived this far, so really have no reason to complain about my lot as I whizz through the skies.  Besides, I am most happy about bagging a bargain, rather than a plush seat.

Happy travels...wherever you sit on the plane!

Got The Itch for Travel? Scratch Away!

I come to you having just spotted something on TV that I want !  I spied it on the wall in the background of an episode of 'Wanted Down Under', I now yearn for one!  I have talked before about my habit of ticklisting the countries and places I have visited.  Well, I have now found a fun way of displaying my travel exploits.  Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you...**DRUM ROLL**...The Scratch Map:

http://www.scratchmap.co.uk/shop/scratch-map-personalised-world-map-poster/

http://www.scratchmap.co.uk/

Like a Lotto Scratchcard, but for travel! (Source - thegadgetstore.ie)

It is ingenious!  You simply scratch off (using a coin, I assume) the places you have visited and over time you get a changing picture of your personal travel history.  In addition to the classic world map, Scratch Map also offer a host of maps, from around the world, to fulfil all your cartographic scratching needs.

Thing is, I am now faced with a problem, as it is not Christmas for 10 months and my birthday falls at the end of December...*HINT HINT* :D

Happy travels, people!  Get scratching!

No Baggage! Dare You Travel This Light?!

MikeW weighed down, but still smilin'!

I tend to travel like Mariah Carey and Elton John on a world tour.  I feel the need to pack anything and everything into my luggage and then curse myself for bringing so much unnecessary things with me.  It is that need to have something for every eventuality, the 'correct' clothes for the places I am visiting and the toilettries I might possibly need in case of a 'beauty emergency'!  I am being ridiculously over the top, but the point I am trying to make is that we take far too much with us on our travels.  The advent of the budget airlines, combined with my natural cheapness, means that I tend to pack much lighter than I used to so I can save on their extortionate baggage charges.  Aside from the downside of making sure I do not incur the wrath of the airline ground staff by trying to carry on a bag 1cm outside of the approved dimensions each airline allows, doing this has made me think about what I can manage with for my travels and has, I believe, made me a much better at packing light for my travels.  I am especially thankful that I do this when I am lugging my bag around some Eastern European capital looking for the hostel or when I cannot find anywhere to store my bag before checking in.  Its light weight is its huge advantage!  But how about this for an idea...Rolf Potts, a man who chooses to travel with no baggage.  Check out this article he wrote for the British newspaper 'The Guardian':

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2010/nov/06/my-travels-rolf-potts-without-luggage

I am not sure I am brave enough to go this far, but it is food for thought.  For example, on my trip to Krakow in Poland last year, in my panic to ensure I had packed my bag and associated liquids correctly for my hand luggage, I had forgotten to pack my toothbrush.  Horror of horrors...I was soon calmed down from my fit of hysteria when I realised there was a convenience store selling (cheaply) the very same toothbrushes I buy back home!  And, I think there is something to think about when you next travel...you can buy most of what you need there.  Struggling to get your liquid allowance down thanks to that huge bottle of shampoo?  Simply pop into a shop in your destination; they probably wash their hair in the country you are visiting.  Your deoderant too big for the little plastic bag in which your liquids are stored?  Buy it there!  The people in the country you visit are likely to use the sweet musk of anti-perspirant to reduce any foul odours!  I have heard stories of people simply rocking up in Bangkok with a small bag of essentials and buying everything they need in the super cheap markets found there.  But, Rolf's approach goes that step further.  I would love to hear from anyone who has tried this and with what success.

We're Slammin'!

Tim Tams - Food of the Gods!

I fell in love on my first solo trip to Australia and New Zealand.  I encountered a love that held no boundaries, a love that came in a number of tempting flavours and, most importantly of all, a love that gave me an immense amount of pleasure!  That love came in the form of the chocolate covered biscuity goodness of Arnott's Tim Tams.  Being a vain, self-obsessed health freak, I try not to indulge too often, but for me it is not the taste of the product itself that amazes me these days, but the fantastic memories that they bring flooding back that makes me want to eat these Aussie delights.  That bite of the chocolate coating to the biscuit, cream-filled centre takes me back to munching these on the beach at Byron Bay where the sea kayaking tour guide showed us how to perform the 'Tim Tam Slam'.  They remind me of the snacking I did on the long bus journeys between my stopping points on the Australian east coast and how sharing my Tim Tams with newly made friends, over freshly opened bottles of Tooheys and VB, brought our group all that bit closer on Fraser Island.

It is funny how foods you have tasted on your holidays can act as a powerfully vivid reminder of a place you have visited, a kind of sensory time machine to events and experiences that occurred many years previously.  And, ultimately, a reminder that makes you smile and look back with great fondness.  It is not just the Aussies that elicit this reaction; as I could easily say the same about the Dutch stroopwaffel or the par Thai cooked on the street stalls of the Khao San Road in Bangkok.  One taste of these foods and I am back there - the smells, sounds and sights come rushing back.

Now I have new associations to these glorious biscuits, though.  This particular packet (pictured above) came to me as a birthday gift, from my awesome Aussie friend, Erin, who I have mentioned before at TRGTALP.  I met her in a hostel in the summer of 2010 in Dubrovnik.  We hit it off and have kept in touch ever since.  I think it is just great that an Aussie woman I met in Croatia has sent me something I discovered back in 2005, when I was roaming around her country.  I just need to save up that money to invest in a return trip to Australia to hand deliver some British treats Erin misses from her time living here in the UK.  I will keep quiet about my real reason for visiting.  I will just say that the spare case I have with me is for all the Sydney Opera House magnets, cuddly koala toys and kangaroo key rings I want to buy as gifts for people back home (and not the hundreds of packets of TimTams I will be aiming to smuggle out of the country)!  Keep schtum and I might let you have one of them...