Eating Alone - TRGTALP's Guide to Chowing Down Solo

Pad Thai in Chiang Mai (source - author)

When I tell people that I often travel solo, the first reaction I often get is, "Oh!  Not for me!  I couldn't eat out alone!"  The tone with which this statement is said would suggest that dining alone is too horrific to even contemplate or can be a major stumbling block to enjoying your travels.  I can assure you there is nothing to worry about and the thought of eating solo should certainly not stop you from getting out there and exploring.  I guess most people fear that their fellow diners may be mocking or pitying them and their lonely existence.  I imagine eating in a restaurant surrounded by loved-up couples might make the solo diner feel somewhat uncomfortable or out of place.  Much of this is due, I believe, to projection and what we think people are thinking about us.  In the majority of cases, your fellow diners; but for a passing glance or comment about someone eating alone, do not give two hoots about you.  They are probably too consumed with the menu, the prospect of their own delicious meal arriving in front of them and their fellow diner's spinach-filled teeth to care about you.

Of course, it is great to eat with company, but eating alone allows you to take in more of your surroundings and gives you the opportunity to be alone with your thoughts.  I prefer not to, but I know people who get round this by reading a book.  I sometimes write in my travel notebook/Moleskine (something I referred to in my previous 'Your First Time') all the things I have been doing or plan to do on my trip or plan to do when I get home.  Remember, your meals are a small part of your day and need not consume you with angst.  So, here are my top tips to make dining alone that little bit easier:

1. Choose your eatery carefully...
- Though you should not give a stuff, you probably don't want to be eating surrounded by several doe-eyed couples sharing their spaghetti (a la Disney's 'Lady and the Tramp').  A friendly local venue is likely to be filled with a mixture of couples, families and, probably, the odd singleton just like you!
2. Eat at lunch...
- Eating your larger meal at a quieter time of the service will take the pressure off feeling that you need to be dining with another person for the day's main meal in the evening.  You can then free yourself up to take in some street food or local fast food options in the evening as you wander round and explore your destination.  The Khao San Road in Bangkok is a great example of where you can munch on satay, spring rolls, pad Thai and finish with some pineapple all for a few pounds as well as soak up an atmosphere you certainly would not find in the confines of a restaurant in the city.
3. Play on the WiFi...
- Only last night, in Split, the waiter took pity on me and came up to me with a till receipt with the restaurant WiFi password written on it.  His kindness was unwarranted, but not unwelcome and I was happy to spend 10 minutes or so, until the food came, sending a message here and there and catching up on the news back home. 
4. Buddy up...
- On a number of occasions I have dined with fellow travellers I have met in hostels, bars on tours that same day.  It is a great way to meet someone and can offer you the chance to get to know people really well as you 'break bread'.

Overall, though...I would suggest that you be bold in these situations.  You have every right to sit at a restaurant by yourself.  You are a paying customer.  Who cares what anyone else thinks!  Go ahead and chow down!

A Quiet Stroll Down the Rio Seco (A Guest Post by HeatherC)

For the latest, second, guest post at The Rough Guide to a Lonely Planet, I have asked an old friend of mine (and a published magazine travel writer) to contribute.  Heather has produced a really entertaining and insightful guide to an area of Spain many people are close to, on the Costa Blanca, but may not necessarily take the time to visit.  I hope you enjoy reading about the Rio Seco as much as I did and that it provides you with the inspiration to take that step off the beaten track to explore somewhere new in a part of the world already 'conquered' by the package tourist.

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Last month I called upon a friend I’d met in Ecuador several years ago. She had come to visit me when I lived in Sheffield and we’d kept in touch over the Internet, but it’s been a good few years since we last met up. She now lives in Spain, and I thought it was about time I took advantage of the outrageously cheap flights to Murcia and paid her a visit. To be quite honest, I wasn’t expecting much from the destination itself: The Costa Blanca. An internet search of the area, Pilar de la Horadada, yielded pages and pages of golf resorts, 18-30 style holiday offers and ‘Dream Homes’ in the sun. Not really my cup of tea, but a bit of sunshine and a catch-up with my old pal would make a lovely break in itself – so long as I could avoid theme bars and golf courses.

The Rio Seco and Pinar de Campoverde is located north of San Javier and east of Murcia.

View Larger Map

Finn came to pick me up from Murcia airport, which is a good job as it is really quite tiny and doesn’t seem to be furnished with taxi ranks or bus stops (this explains the enormous queues for car hire I had to steer through in the arrivals hall). I spent the 20 minute journey to our destination peering through the darkness and getting very excited at glimpses of citrus groves, with unpicked fruits illuminated by the headlights. The area around Pilar is largely agricultural. Whilst it is true that many of the little fishing villages on the coast have been turned into ex-pat communities and concreted monstrosities, you don’t have to go too far inland to find yourself in rural Spain.

Finn had to spend most of the daytime at work, and I set about getting to know the village where she lived – Pinar de Campoverde. It didn’t take too long, to be quite honest; the centre of Campoverde is essentially one street with a couple of basic shops and some alarming-looking bars with names like ‘Coco Loco.’ Many British and German citizens have emigrated here, or have holiday homes where they spend the summer season. This is still a Spanish village, however, and you’d get short shrift in the tobacconist (run by the ex-Mayoress) if you insisted on speaking English.

What is really special about Campoverde, however, is that it perches on the edge of a truly beautiful national park – the Rio Seco. Just off the main street is a little road leading to one of the entrances to this protected area, based on the course of a dry riverbed. When I visited, however, it was not so dry – heavy showers punctuated my holiday, incredibly unusual for an area that is usually baked dry by the endless sunshine. This meant that a ghost of a river had begun to flow along its old path, adding a lush freshness to the landscape. In places the colourful sandstone cliffs have eroded into stunning columns and caves which catch the sunlight in red and gold. In other places, trees, grasses, shrubs and reeds have grown so thick that sunlight is blotted out and you find yourself walking through a tunnel of greenery. A huge variety of wildlife lives in the Rio Seco area. I saw birds such as Bee-eaters, Hoopoes, Finches and Long-tailed Tits, as well as lizards and rabbits. Snakes are also reportedly common here, as well as hares and red squirrels. The flora is so varied, from Aloe and Pine to Bullrush and Rubber Plant. Bougainvillea, Tamarisk and Red Bottlebrush add splashes of red and pink to the greenery, against the gorgeous golden sandstone. What most amazed me was that there was no one else there. It was just me and the Bottlebrush and the Hoopoes. Walking alone in this dreamlike landscape was fantastically peaceful. I love being solo in this kind of environment, where you can truly soak up the tranquillity and let your thoughts wander at will. Aside from the trickling of water and the chatter of birds, there was beautiful silence.

A Bee-eater (source - HeatherC)

 Red Bottlebrush (source - HeatherC)

Signposting the way! (source - HeatherC)

Ridges of rock (source - HeatherC)

A red squirrel (source - HeatherC)

Rubber Plant (source - HeatherC)

Sensible precautions must be taken, naturally, as all solo travel necessitates; a phone and a bottle of water are essentials. Finn warned me not to go when heavy rain was forecast as flash-floods can be a danger, and you wouldn’t want to be caught there in the heat of the day, so it’s best to set off early morning or late afternoon. You can walk for several miles along various paths, either towards Mil Palmeras on the coast or in a loop back to Campoverde. In drier weather it’s possible to cycle along the route, though you should be prepared to carry your bike at times!

HeatherC's underwater adventures in Spain (source - HeatherC)

The last thing I expected in visiting the Costa Blanca was a rural retreat, but that is exactly what I got. I had a dip in the sea at a lovely quiet beach, Torre de la Horadada, and a glorious walk at another nature reserve, Lo Pagan, where there are colonies of Flamingos and various seabirds. Still, it was the fantastic solitude and ethereal beauty of the Rio Seco that really impressed me, and reminded me that a solo rural getaway can be just as rewarding as an action-packed city break. It has also reminded me to seek out beauty in unlikely places – a bargain flight to tourist central could land you a stone’s throw away from a pastoral paradise.

Happy Birthday TRGTALP!

Mmm, cake! (Source - twobirdiesandab.blogspot.com)

I can barely believe it, my little treasure has turned one year old!  After 37 posts, 28 comments, 1 follower and almost 6000 pageviews; The Rough Guide to a Lonely Planet has come of age!  What I genuinely cannot believe is the amount of people who find my writing worthy of their precious time and that some of the readers of TRGTALP actually enjoy it...and even come back for more!

Highlights, so far, have been the awesome comments people have taken the time to write about their travel experiences and the inspiration that they have taken from my blog.  As well as, the Saturday evening my blog post about Stockholm retweeted by the Swedish Tourist Board, that resulted in TRGTALP pageviews going through the roof!  To those commenters, retweeters and readers, I am especially thankful!

So, this is my opportunity to raise a glass of bubbly to what is one of the most enjoyable things I do these days...inspiring you to travel.  This blog has never really been about me (though, it can often sound like that some times).  The main aim has always and always will be to use my experiences to get you out into the wider world.  Get out there, travel, see and experience this wonderful world around you...even if that means breaking out alone.

Here's to the next year!  Happy travels, people!

Hostel Heaven and Hostel Hell

Having recently stayed in a hostel, I often forget how much I love...and hate them!  Sometimes I think that, for the single traveller, they are a necessary evil and, at the same time, a wonderful resource for fun and friendship.  Faced with snorers, plastic bag rustlers and the strange eating habits of the occasional traveller I am often pleased to return to my own room at home.  So, for the hostel first timer and the backpacking old timer here are a few things you can do to make your fellow roomies trip just as pleasant as yours...

(Source - Hostel Bookers - http://blog.hostelbookers.com/travel/the-10-hostel-commandments)

Your First Time!

MikeW in awe at the Orsay!  One of the best art galleries in Paris!

A newly single friend of mine asked me the other week for ideas for a trip she could take by herself; the first one abroad since her break up.  It got me thinking...where and what makes a good destination for first time solo travel.  I know this topic has been covered umpteen times on travel forums and I am not here to reinvent the wheel, but I feel that there are certain things that can make your trip as brilliant as you might hope and without any of the fears you might think such a trip will bring.

Now, my friend has travelled solo before, but not for a few years...so, for her a few reminders and for any solo travel virgins here are my top tips for that first time:

1. Destination...
Choosing the right place to visit can make or break your trip.  I probably, should say 'appropriate place to visit' as the key element of a successful solo trip is keeping myself occupied.  Opting to visit rural Italy, although lovely, may leave you feeling rather lonely and a bit bored.  I would say start off with a city.

(I am going to stick to Europe for this post - even though I have readers from all over the world, but the same principles apply wherever you are on Earth!)

Cities offer the solo traveller with a whole host of sights and different activities that will easily fill their time there.  For example, Paris, Amsterdam, Lisbon, Rome and Berlin are cities filled with world class museums, art galleries, historical sights, superb parks, great food, a brilliant and varied nightlife as well as a really distinctive metropolis feel that you just cannot help but get swallowed up by.  You will not be bored by these places!

On top of this, certain cities offer options for great day trips too.  Paris, for example, could see you catching the RER train and head out to the magnificent Palace of Versailles, the chateaux of the Loire Valley or to Giverny, the home of impressionist painter Monet.

2. Stay in a hostel...
You might not like the thought of a hostel for your stay, but I feel the hostel offers the solo travel one of the best ways to meet fellow travellers and find yourself someone to share some of your first solo trip with.  The hostel is a multicultural melting pot of different nationalities - though, you can ALWAYS guarantee at least an Aussie, a Yank and two Irish friends being there!  Choose your hostel carefully (following the ratings is often your best bet on www.hostelbookers.com and www.hostelworld.com) and you could end up in somewhere pretty swish.  When I travelled to Lisbon, I had a choice of top quality hostels to choose from and was thrilled with my decision to stay here... http://www.lisbonloungehostel.com/about_us.html.  The beautiful communal 8 Euro meal, laid back nature of the place and fun activities the hostel laid on for its guests, both during the day and at night, made this a perfect place to stay for the solo traveller.

3. Take the free tour...
I have said it before - (The Glorious Free Tour) get on the free tour!  I ALWAYS do the free tour...as a way to get my bearings and as a way to meet potential travel friends.  You are likely to be trudging round with many people in a similar boat to you and human nature dictates you are going to be drawn to the people who find the tour guide's crazy fashion sense, poor jokes or frighteningly in depth knowledge of the Ottoman Invasion of the city you are visiting strangely amusing.  The tour will also give you a chance to get to know a local who will be keen to show off their city at its best, so you can ask them about where is best to visit during the day and in the evening.

The Solo Traveller Toolkit:
- A good book for those down time moments or for when you are sitting in a cafe soaking in the atmosphere and hubbub of the city over a gloopy Continental coffee.
- An iPod/MP3 player.  It is just nice to hear a familiar voice from time to time and what better than a favourite song or energising tune to get you marching to that next tourist attraction.
- A Moleskine notebook.  Any notebook will do, but I like the Moleskine range as they are so luxuriously lovely!  I write down things I have seen that I do not want to forget, my thoughts, doodles, ideas for future art projects and for things I would like to do in the future.  Travelling to places away from home, is a privilege and I love being inspired by and learning from the places that I see often triggers ideas in my head for future experiences I want to enjoy.

Finally, be bold!  It is your first trip alone...just get out there and enjoy it.  There is no point wallowing in self pity or thinking 'I wish someone was here with me'.  Make the most of your trip, stride out there with confidence and savour what your destination has to offer you.  You won't regret it!  Oh...and if all of this advice has done nothing to inspire and you need someone to join you...you know where I live!

Top Tips for Solo Travel...

MikeW going solo in Vilnius, Lithuania

Solo travel can be daunting.  I read comments on forums laced with panic from people who are about to venture on trips to South East Asia and South America all on their lonesome.  I was like that...and, to some extent can feel like that now when I travel solo (see my previous post 'Butterflies...').  I want to calm nerves, the soothing balm on your upcoming travel adventure; whether that be a week touring Eastern Europe or a year round the world.  To help me out, I canvassed the opinion of the very knowledgeable travellers who use the excellent Lonely Planet Thorn Tree Forum on this issue and along with some of my own experiences of solo travel, I have pulled together five hints and tips to make your solo trip not only an enjoyable one, but a very memorable one too.


1. Throw Yourself Into the Mix!
One of the scariest elements of solo travel is just that, you are solo, on your own in a place where not a single soul knows who you are.  The arrival into the hostel can be a scary thing...you are faced with a group of strangers, who have probably already bonded over the local speciality window cleaner flavoured liquor and who tell tales of wonderful things they have seen that day.  See this as an opportunity.  Be proactive and get stuck in!  Thrust your hand out, say 'Hello!  I'm [insert your name here]!' and take it from there.  I have ALWAYS had positive experiences from doing this while travelling.  Besides, the solo traveller has an advantage thanks to the fact that you are more approachable than a pair or group of travellers; most of whom will comment on how brave you are at venturing off alone.


2. Oh, So Lonely!
First, the bad news...there are going to be lonely moments when you travel.  There is no escaping it, I am afraid.  You are going to be looking out over a beach in Thailand and your thoughts will suddenly turn to home, family, friends, your pet rabbit Fluffykins and wish you were back on home soil or that all your loved ones were with you, sharing your Pad Thai.  You should be congratulated for having taken the big leap to travel alone, but to avoid bouts of loneliness you are going to need to muster up some more courage and more of that proactivity I mentioned above.  To make it easier, I highly recommend you follow the established backpacker routes for your first trip.  My first solo trip (detailed in my post 'My First Time') took in the well-trodden backpacker trails of the Australian East Coast (from Sydney to Cairns) and both the North and South Islands of New Zealand.  I met so many people, it verged on the ridiculous!  Some of the people I met on this trip have become firm friends...and provided me with great weekends away in sunny foreign climes such as Ireland and the Netherlands after I returned from my travels!  Look at your loneliness as an advantage - a moment of solitude, peace and harmony in what will be a trip where your interaction with people will almost certainly come and go as you progress through your journey.  Savour the times you have with the new friends and acquaintances you meet on the road, but also savour those times you get to reflect on the great time you are having travelling.

"You're on top tonight, Ingrid?!" (Photo - TravelPod.com)

3. Hitting the Sack...
Choose your bed for the night carefully, solo traveller!  I agree with the views of the Thorn Tree folk on this aspect of solo travel, stay in hostels.  They offer the easiest way to meet people and allow you to tailor your travel to your backpacker needs and budget.  If you are a party animal, definitely book yourself into one of the many party hostels out there.  If there is a lairy, drunken, lobster tan Brit in the picture on the hostel's website or Hostelworld/Hostelbooker's page, it is a party hostel.  If they recycle the rainwater for showers, knit the yoghurt and offer muesli (aka 'sawdust') for breakfast, you are booking yourself into a more laidback kind of place, that for someone of my age and liver capacity will, I think, provide the solo traveller with a good place to stay and the chance to meet other like-minded folk; unless, of course, your kind of like-minded folk are necking back eleven vodka Red Bulls with a Jagermeister chaser in their luridly painted hostel in quick succession!  One other thing...I loved this (very accurate) tip from one poster on the Thorn Tree, "be nice to everyone you meet in hostels as there is a good chance you will bump into them later on."  You will be surprised how many people you meet and then see again...and again...and again as you venture on your journey.


4. Embrace the Weird!
Another cast iron guarantee...you are going to meet some seriously 'interesting' people on your travels.  Do not be afraid...most do not bite and offer you a whole host of fantastic stories for your new hostel friends and at your welcome home parties back in your motherland!  Just make sure you have an exit strategy if it looks to be getting dangerous or emotionally trying.  For the latter, I can recommend, "I need the toilet!" - a place you can hide and update your Twitter and Facebook statuses with your scary/weird experience and make your friends back home howl at your travel capers.  My Aussie weirdo experiences are to be detailed in a future post...watch this space!


5. Enjoy the Flexibility...
You are a solo traveller.  This is a brilliant thing.  If you choose to, you do not have to discuss your itinerary for the day with anyone.  You can do whatever you please (with reason) and go wherever you want (within reason).  That fork in the road...it is up to you!  That ice cream or piece of cake...it is up to you...why not have both; after all you are Master/Mistress of your own travelling destiny!  Enjoy this positive aspect of your trip!


Overall, rather than see travelling solo as a negative, I always tend to view it in a more positive slant.  I figure, that I am here, albeit alone...but I am going to make the most of it.  Of course, it would be great to be here with a loved one or friends, but most of all it is important you have a fulfilling travel experience without feeling wracked by loneliness or the feeling that you cannot enjoy what the world lays before you without having someone to share it with.


I'll leave you with one final tip a colleague gave me when I left a job a few years back.  It might help you in a hostel situation - "don't sweat the petty things and certainly don't pet the sweaty things!"


Safe travels and Enjoy!

My First Time...

Day one of my first solo trip!  What a place to start my travels!

Back in 2005, I had just secured what I thought was going to be the job of a lifetime.  This was my first graduate position, after many applications, and was to my mind a job where I could forge a long-term career.  My initial reaction was one of joy at getting the job, but then came the mild panic.  My problem?  I hadn't travelled to the places I wanted to travel to; the places where I had wanted to spend a significant amount of time exploring and sauntering through.  Seeing this as my last big chance before being tied down to a 9-5 routine along with all the financial committments that come with a new life, I looked round at my friends and thought, "Crap!  If I'm going to do this, I'm going to have to go alone!"  As all my friends had other things going on, I faced a choice: stay in the UK before starting my job or fly solo to my chosen destinations, Australia and New Zealand.  I took the latter option and haven't looked back since.

Having taken the first big step, booking my flights; I thought to myself, "What the hell am I doing?!"  This was reinforced when I waved my family off at the airport to embark on my 10 week trip.  As I stepped off the plane in Sydney to be sniffed out by an Aussie Customs dog for the possible 'fruit traces' in my bag, helped a drunken women off the floor at the baggage carousel, after she had tried to lift her bag in a heavily inebriated state, before being dragged along the conveyor belt, as well as maintain my constant 'spider watch', in case I should be suddenly be pounced upon by a funnel web or a huntsman; I knew then that the trip would bring me lots of experiences.

Back in Blighty, I had consciously booked myself into a large dorm room, at the hostel in Sydney, with the hope of throwing myself into the mix as soon as possible and stave off any of the loneliness of solo travel.  It worked a treat!  Within 10 minutes of being in the room, I bravely began a converstaion with the lads across the room who were planning to go for some beers in the bar downstairs and got an invite to share a few VBs with them.  And, from then on and throughout the whole trip, I met some absolutely amazing people.  Some were fleeting encounters, where friendships were formed only for a night or two, but others were much more long lasting.  The Dutch friend I made on a sailing trip in Australia and the Irish trio of girls I met in Wellington are people I consider to be very close friends who I have visited often in Amsterdam and Cork, as well as welcomed here.  What surprised me most was the fact that I ended up fending off some of the friendships I encountered on the road off...I got bored of the constant interaction with people and craved some time alone every now and then.  The fact that this happened in my first port of call, Sydney, worried me a bit.  A weird feeling especially considering my fears at the beginning of this solo trip about being a sad, lonely Billly-no-mates with a massive backpack strapped to my back.

My thanks must go to Louise.  A friend who I met temping in an office.  Her tales of her year long trip round Asia and Australia got me excited and keen to see and do all the things she had on her travels.  Her encouragement gave me that push needed to take this memorable trip.

If you have taken a long solo trip, you'll know what I mean when I write here.  If you haven't I hope I can inspire you with my blog posts, much like Louise did during our achingly dull days as temp workers to get out there, even if it does mean by yourself.  I hope you feel brave enough to act on that urge to travel.  There will be ups and there will be downs...but, I promise you one thing, you won't regret it!

Going Solo

Contemplating the next Ozujsko and sladoled as I sit on Zlatni Rat beach on the island of Brač in Croatia.

Going solo...a scary prospect for most of us.  The thought of being the only person, the singular, the solitary is often viewed in a less than positive way.  Never more so than when that lone traveller grabs their oversized backpack or hefty suitcase and decides to explore somewhere new.  I want to change that.  I want 'alone' to be seen positively; the single traveller as the trailblazer, forging the path ahead with confidence as an exclusive adventurer who, far from being the isolated soul, is the hostel common room conqueror, the bar vanquisher, but most of all excited about going out there and exploring your own lonely planet.

"Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement." (Alice Koller)